Soft music is playing, candles are lit, and he is splayed out comfortably. This time he doesn’t have to perform, but simply relax and receive your touch. Sound like heaven? Read on to make this fantasy a reality.

An Attitude of Openness
The most important factor as a practitioner of sensual massage is your attitude. Massage isn’t about performance and achievement, but rather relaxation, pleasure, and connection. Keep a mindset of openness and curiosity while honoring your comfort and limitations as well as his.
 
Choosing a Massage Oil
You’ll be using plenty of massage oil, so take time to consider what type of lubricant you prefer. If post-massage intercourse might occur, choose condom compatible massage lubricant, such as KY Touch, as oils break down latex condoms (See “Choosing the Right Lubricant” for more information). Remember to warm up chilly lubricant by rubbing your hands together before application.

Massage Hygiene
It’s best if both partners have freshly bathed to help encourage intimate exploration. Be sure your nails are trimmed short and filed smooth. It’s no fun having long nails pushing into sensitive skin.

Encouraging Communication
Encourage plenty of feedback from your partner regarding where, how much, and what type of touch he prefers. Watch for body language that communicates pleasure, such as smiling and deep breathing, as well as discomfort, such as tensing the body or wincing. Ask specific, clarifying questions such as, “Does this feel good? More/less pressure? Right here?” 

Approaching with Full-Body Eroticism
Remember that all touch is sensual, so turn his whole body on with full-body eroticism before approaching his genitals. Pay attention to his especially erotic parts listed below.
∙ sides of the face ∙ ears      ∙ nape of the neck      ∙ center of the chest
∙ inner elbows  ∙ hands      ∙ naval area       ∙ behind the knees  
∙ inner thighs  ∙ feet      ∙ crease of his inner thighs and pelvis

Intuitive Touch
Use your intuition and partner feedback to determine the best kinds of touch for each body part. As a rule, begin with a softer touch and slowly increase intensity. You may try…
Tapping with alternating fingers
Lightly blowing on skin
Stroking with light pressure
Firm pressure pushing with thumbs and finger-tips
Kneading or squeezing and releasing 

Exploring His Genitals
Use your erotic imagination and curiosity when exploring his entire genital area. Use plenty of lubricant, a variety of touch, and request feedback as his preferences will vary. Be sure to respect any boundaries - both his and your own. Try…

Using a downward stroke from his corona, or head of the penis, down his shaft alternating hands

Tickling his frenulum, that small flap of skin joining the corona and shaft on the underside of his penis

Using both hands in an upward stroke applying pressure with your thumbs to his raphe, the center seam on the underside of the penis

Grasping his shaft firmly with one hand and circling his corona with the palm of your other hand

Holding his testicles and pulling downward (getting plenty of feedback)

Blowing or lightly tapping his testicles

A Wonderful Gift
Erotic massage is a wonderful gift to give your lover. You don’t have to have years of training, just an open mind, good communication skills, and a willingness to learn more about his body. You’ll find him relaxed, rejuvenated, and grateful. You’ll find yourself more knowledgeable, more sensual, and with greater sexual confidence. 

By Angela Towne, Sexuality Educator