We think of play as the business of childhood, but adults need play time as well. Sex is a way adults get to play. Play is about loosening up, being creative, and being open to your partner’s creativity. Play involves revealing something new about yourself and what turns you on. And, most importantly, play is about having fun.

Choosing a Safe Word
When experimenting with sex play it is important to be able to communicate boundaries. Because you won’t always know your boundaries ahead of time it is important to establish a “safe word” with your partner before play begins. A safe word is a word that is stated during sex play signaling that a participant wants to stop a particular activity. Words like “no” or “stop” are not good choices as they might be mistaken as part of the action. Instead, choose a safe word that can’t be confused as part of the play. Traffic lights are a popular choice using “Red light!” to signify stop, “Yellow!” to communicate caution or uncertainty about play or “Green!” which means go for it.

The Fish Bowl
The Fish Bowl game is an enjoyable way to communicate sexual fantasies and get creative juices flowing. The rules are simple. Each partner writes at least six sexual activities or scenarios that s/he would like to try on pieces of paper. These scenarios can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. Both partners place strips of paper in a bowl and mix them up. Draw a strip of paper out of the Fish Bowl and discuss the nuances of this fantasy or desire. Agree to experiment with this fantasy at some point during the week. If a particular fantasy isn’t agreeable to both partners, draw another.

Using Symbolism in Play
Symbolism can be used in play to explore new territories without the risk of being in an undesirable situation. For example, perhaps the idea of bondage intrigues you, but you don’t actually want to loose control. Symbolic bondage can be as much of a turn on as the real thing. Your lover might tie your wrists together with a silk tie using one loosely-fitted knot that you can easily undo, or you might purchase fuzzy handcuffs that have a self-release lever. You get the visual effect and the sensation, but you’re never actually immobilized.

Creating a Toy Box
What play time would be complete without a toy box? Creating a toy box is a lot of fun and makes imaginative play a priority. Your toy box can contain any number of treasures from sensual massage oils, blindfolds, and feathers to creative items such as body paints and costumes. Of course you’ll want to save room for your favorite dildos and vibrators as well as those adult board games and dirty dice that can really get the ball rolling.

Playful Sex Rejuvenates
An open and playful sexual experience can be rejuvenating, reduces stress, and can show unexpected sides of your partner. Invigorating your sex life with creativity takes you and your partner into the limitless realm of imagination. The more you use your creative muscles the stronger they become. Make fun a priority by scheduling a sex-play date with your partner today.

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Angela Towne, Sexuality Educator